Deciding whether to ‘go solo’ or to get help from a Coach!

I remember so clearly the minute I took that first step towards Thriving and changing my life. 

I was on a short lunch break at work and I was shaking from head to toe, wondering whether to call Rob Kelly who wrote the programme or not, to ask him about his supposed ‘cure’ for emetophobia (I was beyond sceptical at this point, even though I’d watched most of his emetophobia videos already on YouTube). ‘He won’t answer’, I thought, ‘he’s too busy’, ‘just buy the book, you don’t need to speak to him about it’, ‘it won’t work anyway so why bother ringing him’. All social anxiety I realise now, but I remember standing outside in the freezing cold, trying to decide what to do, and eventually I just hit the call button and before I knew it Rob himself had answered (that was not actually in the rehearsal scenario in my head, I had already practised my ‘calm and measured answerphone message’ so I was a bit unprepared to actually talk to him!).

I remember that I couldn’t even tell him what was wrong with me at first, I was so frightened and embarrassed, and on the verge of tears so I didn’t want to say too much in case I cried and he thought I was a lunatic or beyond help. I sort of danced around the point, describing roughly what I was struggling with, when he just said to me ‘do you think you have emetophobia?’ I mumbled a response, and he simply said to me, buy the book, there’s a money back guarantee on it if you don’t like it or it doesn’t help, and to get back in touch with him directly once it had arrived and I’d read the introduction. And that was the start of my journey to Thriving. 

So I wanted to write this blog about something that I had really debated about and was unsure of at the beginning of my own journey (but had almost forgotten about until I became a Coach myself and saw people struggling with the same thing). And that’s the issue of, ‘do I get a Coach, or do I do the programme on my own with the book?’ So I wanted to talk a little about what we do as Coaches, and my own thoughts on going through the programme with one, to help you make a decision either way.

“For many people, particularly people like me who had been stuck in a rut for a while and honestly didn’t have even a shred of self-belief that I could make it out myself, enlisting the help of a Thrive Programme Coach can be key in getting the absolute maximum out of the programme”

The first thing to say is that you don’t NEED a Coach in order to complete the programme. It’s very important to say that, because we do of course cost money and some people believe that if they can’t afford a Coach they can’t get Thriving and that’s simply not true. It is absolutely possible to take yourself methodically through the programme at home with the book, whichever specific Thrive Programme book you have, and to make huge changes to your life and your mental health (and we get plenty of testimonials on Amazon and emailed to The Thrive Programme from people that have done just that). The book contains all the knowledge you need to understand and make changes to your thinking, and there are plenty of free accompanying videos on our Thrive Programme and Emetophobia Expert YouTube channels to help you get clarity on particularly key topics.

But for many people, particularly people like me who had been stuck in a rut for a while and honestly didn’t have even a shred of self-belief that I could make it out myself, enlisting the help of a Thrive Programme Coach can be key in getting the absolute maximum out of the programme. In the same way that some people find it easy to lose weight and get fit just by going to the gym, starting gym classes or taking on a new sport, and some prefer the knowledge, help and motivation of a personal trainer, the decision is a very personal but very important one for anyone considering The Thrive Programme!

I recently described the decision (about coming onboard with a Thrive Coach) to someone as a little like the difference between having a map, and having a map with added descriptions and a compass to help too. The Thrive Programme book itself is like your map – it tells you and shows you how to get to where you want to go. For some people, a map is enough if you have enough trust in your ability to follow that map, and to get back on track if you get lost.

A Thrive Coach is all those extra bits (the descriptions, the compass, and even a tour guide) that help you to learn how to use the map as quickly and effectively as possible, so you spend less time pondering over it trying to grasp how it all works, and more time getting stuck into getting to the destination itself. A Thrive Coach will check that you understand all the bits on the map properly,  they make sure you’re going in the right direction and following the instructions correctly (if the map is upside down for example, you won’t be going anywhere until you’re looking at the map the right way up!), and importantly they show you how to get back on track quickly if you have wandered off in the wrong direction. Without the directions and the compass, with the right determination and effort you could eventually still get to your destination just fine. But those added extras to accompany the map make it quicker and easier to do that, and can help you if you get a bit lost along the way, and save you walking miles off course in the process ;)

“I found myself – and I find now with my own clients too – that the Coach can make a huge difference in how quickly and thoroughly the desired result is achieved”

Going through the programme myself with Rob as my Coach, I found that his guidance was invaluable. He was able to personalise the programme and exercises to issues I was having particular difficulty with, explain things I struggled to understand in the most effective ways for me, and to keep me moving forwards even through blips. He was also able to (as all Thrive Coaches do) provide extra resources and accompanying videos/research tailored to issues I wanted more detailed knowledge on, to provide examples of how previous clients who had encountered similar difficulties overcame them, and to give me a bit of tough talking to when I needed it!! Most of all, I trusted that he knew what he was doing and I did as I was told even if it was uncomfortable, because I trusted that he was going to get me to where I wanted to go. I now try to do the same with my own clients and love seeing them progress so quickly each week.

I found myself – and I find now with my own clients too – that the Coach can make a huge difference in how quickly and thoroughly the desired result is achieved. One client recently admitted to me that, had he not approached me to go through the course with him, he didn’t think he would have been motivated enough to put the effort in consistently and regularly, and that he was able to ask questions about bits he was unsure with and move past obstacles that may have put him off carrying on by himself. The accountability of regular sessions with somebody who knows how it works (and often has been there themselves, or at least seen plenty of other clients who have), along with their ability to nudge you in the right direction, to go over any bits you don’t understand, and to motivate you if you have a small wobble, is what makes a Coach particularly helpful to those wanting to get Thriving but struggling to go through it at home by themselves. Coaches like me can do this through face-to-face sessions, or even via Skype if distance is a factor for you.

I hope this blog has helped explain exactly what Thrive Coaches like myself do, and decide whether it is something you feel you need or whether you feel ready to get going by yourself! Whichever path you choose, however you decide to start the journey, don’t delay any more – open that book and get yourself Thriving!